Turning 30 felt like entering a new, uncharted phase of life—a blend of excitement, clarity, and a profound sense of responsibility. Now, five years in, I realise that my 30s have been a decade of refinement, revelation and realignment. This period has provided me with invaluable lessons, some learned through joy and others through significant challenges. Here are the five biggest lessons I’ve learned so far.
Failure is an art of success
In my 20s, I saw failure as something to be avoided, a sign that I wasn’t doing something right. But my 30s have taught me that failure is a crucial ingredient in success. Every setback, every mistake, and every detour has carried valuable lessons that have shaped me into a wiser, more resilient person.
I’ve learned that success isn’t a straight path; it’s a winding road filled with obstacles meant to strengthen you. The key is to embrace failure, extract the lessons and keep moving forward. Some of my biggest breakthroughs in business, faith and personal growth have come after what seemed like devastating failures. Now, I don’t just endure failure; I see it as a stepping stone.
Your 30s are for coming face-to-face with yourself
This decade forces you to confront yourself in ways you never imagined. It’s the season when God starts to reveal the parts of you that need healing–the insecurities, patterns and wounds you’ve ignored for years.
In my 20s, I was busy chasing goals and trying to prove myself. But in my 30s, I’ve realised that real success starts with inner work. I’ve had to sit with myself, acknowledge uncomfortable truths and allow God to work on me from the inside out. Healing is not always comfortable, but it is necessary. When you let God do the deep work in you, you show up as a healthier, more whole version of yourself in every area of life.
The goal of marriage is to make you holy, not just happy
Before getting married, I thought the purpose of marriage was companionship, love and happiness. And while those things are important, I’ve learned that marriage is one of God’s greatest tools for shaping us into Christ-like people. Marriage has a way of exposing selfishness, pride and impatience. It teaches you to love unconditionally, to serve without expecting anything in return, and to forgive even when it’s hard. Happiness in marriage is not only the goal; it’s the byproduct of two people committed to growth, sacrifice, and love that mirrors God’s heart.
The challenges in marriage are not there to break you but to refine you. And when both partners embrace this mindset, the beauty of marriage becomes even more profound.
People are your greatest assets
In business, ministry and life, relationships matter more than anything else. You can have all the skills, resources, and knowledge in the world, but without the right people, you won’t go far.
Over the past five years, I’ve learned to be intentional about relationships. I’ve learned the importance of investing in people, nurturing friendships, and building a strong support system. The right people will open doors for you, lift you when you’re down, and help you become the best version of yourself.
I’ve also learned to discern relationships and recognise who is meant to be in my life for a season or a lifetime. The quality of your relationships will ultimately determine the quality of your life.
Life is lived in seasons
One of my greatest lessons is that life is a series of seasons. There are seasons of building and seasons of resting, seasons of abundance and seasons of pruning. I used to want everything to happen at once. But now, I understand that God works in seasons. Some seasons require patience, others require bold action. Some seasons feel like waiting; others feel like acceleration. And through it all, I’ve learned to trust God’s timing.
This lesson has given me peace. Instead of constantly striving, I’ve learned to embrace each season for what it is, knowing that God is always right on time.
Five years into my 30s, I can confidently say that this decade has been one of the most transformative periods of my life. It has been a time of unlearning, growing and deepening my relationship with God. I don’t have everything figured out, but I know this: Each lesson is shaping me into the person I was always meant to be.
If you’re in your 30s (or approaching them), embrace the journey. Lean into the lessons, trust God’s process, and remember that every experience, good or bad, is shaping you for something greater.
© Bella Naija
