The Enigma of Renewal: Priest Valery Dukhanin

Our yearning for renewal knows no limits. Even the seemingly mundane things can reflect, like in a drop of water, something truly great. Behind the seemingly superficial gaudiness of our New Year preparations: the decoration of the Christmas tree, the happy chatter of children anticipating their gifts, the joyful bustle of the lady of the house around the festively-laid table—behind it lies something truly profound. It is our yearning to renounce the old man and put on the life-transforming garments of the new man.

We anticipate the arrival of the New Year—as if in attempt to break through into a new era and leave behind all of our mistakes, sorrows, afflictions, anguish, and inner turmoil, to start life with a clean slate, because this is what, it seems, the first page of the calendar inspires us to do.

The Christmas tree and its string lights, the children dancing in a circle around it, the parties with family or friends—all of this is great as long as it stays within the limits of worldly pleasures allotted to us. However, once we have welcomed the New Year, let’s never remain satiated by the matters of everyday life. For he who is trapped in everyday cares will limit life to just that—dumping all hopes of his heart along with the emptied glasses, crumpled candy wrappers and burnt festive sparklers. Isn’t it obvious that jokes, laughter, fireworks, or food will never renew the inner man in us? The date on the calendar won’t bring the renewal either! Renewal is in the hands of Him Who renews life.

As it was said by the Prophet Isaiah,

He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall: But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint (Isaiah 40:29-31).

An encounter with God always results in renewal. It has been this way for centuries, throughout the history of Christianity. Peter, who passionately cried out, Thou art the Christ, the Son of the living God (Matthew 16:16), and Saul, who first became blind and then regained his eyesight through the action of that same uncreated Light—both of them bore testimony to the renewal at the dawn of the Christian era. Therefore, Paul, as he shared the innermost thoughts with his disciple Titus, knew what he was talking about:

For we ourselves also were sometimes foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving divers lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful, and hating one another: But after that the kindness and love of God our Saviour toward man appeared, Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost; Which he shed on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Saviour (Titus 3:3-6).

It is exactly the same in our days. The world seems hopelessly lost. However, anywhere the Mystery of Confession is being administered, another mystery, of renewal, also reigns supreme. Silent are they who participate in this Mystery, but they witness it, rejoicing in Christ and feeling thankful to God. Fornicators and robbers who have repented, godless people who have found faith, and cynics who obtained fear of God, sinners possessed by passions of all hues and those who found healing in Christ—these are all realities of our days, even though the path of renewal is agonizing at times. We can witness a wondrous change even some decades later, as if it were necessary to go through all the circles of hell to fully appreciate Paradise, or sometimes it happens all of a sudden, like in a fiery change of heart. Still, we keep wondering in either case: how is it ever possible at all? Well, everything is possible with God.

What is spiritual renewal? It is when you are no longer weighed down by the burden of past traumas and mistakes, your present is filled with joy, and you anticipate the future without fear. We are happy people, because we have Him, and it is before Him that we lay bare our past; He knows the present-day secrets of our heart and He is the One Who will arrange our future in the best way possible. For, Neither is there any creature that is not manifest in his sight: but all things are naked and opened unto the eyes of him (Hebrews 4:13). The major testimony from the book of Revelation: God is all-encompassing and all-healing Love! Thus, let’s bare our hearts before Him. The easiest of prayers, yet spoken like a profound and sincere sigh of the heart, may be a prelude to spiritual renewal. That is why we pray, “Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.” Even the most typical of confessions, a simple one, but honest through and through, merciless to our inner self, can suddenly turn into a miracle of renewal.

There is also another amazing truth: Sin is an extremely exhausting thing. Your mind and heart, soaking filth like sponges, become heavy and stiff, while your thoughts and feelings get sluggish and earthbound, like birds caught in a net. It is as tiring as every other illness, because sin is an illness, yet man is a child of God and a child of Paradise. And this is the reason why our heart is languishing. The thirst for renewal is an unconscious longing for God and for Paradise lost.

Life in sin is always boring and languid, hard and hopeless, like the labor of Sisyphus—pulling a stone uphill knowing that it will inevitably roll back down. There is also the annoyance with ourselves and despair, because we cannot do it on our own. But God will take away the stone of sin from the penitent. And mountains will move anywhere there is faith, repentance and humility. They who have such experience know how the soul is soaring high above as if it has acquired the wings and regained freedom. What seemed unsolvable has been solved, the incorrigible has been corrected, the crooked has become straight.

This is the truth of life: it is boring and hard with sin, but with God—it is joyful and effortless. He said this Himself:

Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light (Matthew 11:28-30)

Then, there is also the experience of holy people that tells us: In God, there always exists something inexhaustibly new, unmatched and unexplored. There is a limit to everything in our world, and space also has limits, and even the most interesting book will bore you sooner or later. Yet, the Maker of the Angels, the people and the world knows no limits and so the paths of communication with God and of knowing Him are inexhaustible. This is a truly important matter. Once St. Seraphim of Sarov left his hermitage and was alight with joy, saying to everyone, “Christ is Risen!” By having renewed himself in the Holy Spirit, he shared this joy with others. It was just the same in ancient times, when St. Anthony the Great was seen as filled with joy in the silent desert. It was so in the Middle Ages with St. Sergius of Radonezh, and in our days with St. Paisios of the Holy Mountain and Father Hippolytus (Khalin), who all shone with light and joy.

There is always something new and unexplored in God. With God, there is neither boredom nor dullness. It is like a meeting of the two in love, always filled with unforgettable things that nourish the heart so that the day is gone as if in a heartbeat, as if time doesn’t exist in the presence of the loved one. In the same way, life in Paradise, which is the communion of a loved one with the Loving One—that is, of man and God—will never make anyone weary.

Our thirst for renewal that reveals itself in our earthly holidays (not only New Year’s, but also in our birthday parties) is our unconscious yearning for God. And every experience of thirst attests to the existence of the object of thirst. Thus, thirst for water means that one can find water. It is impossible to thirst for something that doesn’t exist. Thirst for love means that love exists, even if we have rejected it. In the same manner, thirst for renewal, transfiguration, and resurrection suggests that all this does exist. Renewal is impossible without Him Who renews life. He was born of the Ever-Virgin Mary, the star showed the way to the Magi, the Angel appeared to the shepherds, followed later by the heavenly host, to grant us new life. He became like one of us, born as a little Child, to grant us what He always had from eternity. In Him, there is our much-awaited renewal. Let us also hasten to Him! Greetings with the Nativity of Christ and the upcoming Theophany, dear brothers and sisters!