Dear Folake, We, the distinguished members of the Ugly Women Association (UWA), have gathered for an emergency meeting to address your groundbreaking discovery that only beautiful wives bring peace, long life, and a public disgrace-free existence. We must say—we had no idea we were the cause of global problems!
First, we sincerely apologize to all the men who have been hiding our pictures like state secrets. We understand now that our presence alone has forced them into the arms of “side chics,” and for this, we take full responsibility (even though their bank accounts might say otherwise).
Secondly, about ugly women producing ugly children—madam, have you seen the parents of some of these fine boys on Instagram? The math is simply not mathing. We’ve checked, and sometimes it’s the so-called “ugly wives” who produce the finest children. Meanwhile, some “beautiful couples” are out here fighting genetic battles they didn’t prepare for!
Thirdly, you said beautiful wives prevent STDs? Wow. We didn’t know beauty worked as a vaccine now! Should we contact the WHO for further research? Or perhaps men should simply try faithfulness, but what do we know? We are just humble, peace-loving women who now understand that our lack of Instagram-worthy faces is the biggest threat to world stability.
In conclusion, dear Folake, we accept our fate. We will continue to be the silent heroes—handling the house, raising the kids, and keeping marriages afloat while you celebrate your “publicly postable” wives. But one day, one faithful day, when all the fine girls finish, you will look for us!
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Source: Linda Ikeji Blog
