Senator Natasha Akpoti-Uduaghan.
By. Anietie Ukpeh, Ph. D
On Tuesday, Natasha Akpoti-Uduaghan fulfilled her bold promise to “resume” at the Senate. And indeed, resume she did—at the gate.
Like a heroine from a low-budget soap opera, she arrived with a ragtag entourage that followed her as eagerly as children once followed the Pied Piper of Hamelin—except this time, the only thing missing was the flute. Her band included a few loyalists, a couple of professional hand-clappers, and one Aisha Yesufu – a social media activist who can occasionally spell ‘Nigeria’ without supervision.
Aisha didn’t quite grasp the Natasha drama, but free transport to the National Assembly? That’s a tourism opportunity she just couldn’t pass up. For some of the others, it was their first time seeing the National Assembly—and they spent more time photographing the pillars and tiles than listening to Natasha’s recycled grievances. Which she did before a battery of media cameras.
But nature, ever the discerning critic, was unimpressed. Dark clouds gathered, and as if to say, “Not today, madam,” the heavens opened up and drowned Big Sister Nigeria: Gate Edition, Episode One. No need for a broadcast ban—rain took care of the cancellation of the event.
Now to the moral of the story. For the first time since this circus began, Natasha admitted—gasp!—that the court did not order her reinstatement. She said it was a recommendation. But in the same breath, insisted that the recommendation was still an order. It was like watching someone insist that his cat is actually a horse because both have tails. As brilliant an argument as the story that four corner kicks are equal to one goal in football.
It brought to mind the overzealous evangelist who once bellowed in a fiery sermon, “Jonah swallowed the fish!” The interpreter nervously corrected him: “You mean the fish swallowed Jonah.” But the preacher, not to be outdone and displeased with the interruption, thundered back: “It does not matter whether Jonah swallowed the fish or the fish swallowed Jonah, the important thing is that there was a swallow!” And so it is with Natasha: it doesn’t matter if the court put reinstatement in an order or in a recommendation, the important thing is that there was reinstatement.
Except, it does matter.
If Jonah swallowed the fish, it would be a yawner, not scripture. And if the court issued a clear order for reinstatement, there would be no controversy. Orders are enforced. Recommendations, unless you’re a failing law student advised to withdraw, are just what they sound like—suggestions, not marching orders.
Yet Natasha, ever defiant, declared she was going to resume—and resume she did, at the Senate gate. She stood there flanked by film extras for her next episode, while the rest of humanity watched with the detached amusement of people who’ve seen one too many reruns of the same plot and the same cast.
Because make no mistake: Natasha is, at heart, a content creator. Always has been. Always will be. Ask Pastor Reno Omokri. When ten senators had their seats reassigned and only Natasha threw a tantrum, refusing to move, raining insults on everyone—what was she doing? Creating senatorial content. Content is king if you want to monetize your social media profiles.
She has toured the globe to promote a different storyline, thinking the world would rally in outrage. But foreign parliaments are not TikTok audiences. They asked their embassies for context. The embassies reported: “Madam refused to sit where she was assigned. That’s the issue.” And just like that, the fire fizzled. The parliaments lost interest.
As for the sexual harassment claim—it was stillborn. No evidence. No prima facie case. No police report. No corroboration. No nothing. Not even a whimper of investigative traction. Then came the wild leap to assassination plots. And for the grand finale? Organ harvesting. These avoidable name-calling have led to criminal defamation cases.
Now, with no legal order in hand, she wants to resume duty based on a recommendation. I was rooting for her to succeed—because, had she pulled it off, I would have dusted off a letter from 40 years ago were an Army Colonel recommended me for military service. I would have marched to Army Headquarters and announced my resumption as a Brigadier General. After all, it was a recommendation, and apparently, recommendations are now binding orders!
But most lawyers—those who studied law, not just those who passed through the law faculty—know this: court orders are enforced by the court, not by the claimants. Natasha doesn’t care. She goes where she likes and sits where she likes…all for good content.
For Natasha, everything is content. A seat in the Senate is not a platform for legislation—it’s a prop. A committee assignment? Just another backdrop. The moment she runs out of real drama, she starts manufacturing it. She’s not a Senator; she’s a season.
Ukpeh is a Veteran Journalist and he writes from Uyo.
