The would-be King of Bullshit Springs—That’s him!
His rotten talk could turn a fat cat thin.
The would-be King of Bullshit Springs—Don’t fear!
His eye perfume makes real worlds disappear.
That puff of hair, it cast an orange ring.
But spiked into a crown…Might he be king?
He’d won the actual vote, this time around…
Though not quite half the votes, the counters found.
(The largest voting bloc was those who *didn’t*—
Many ‘cuz their polling place got hidden,
And others more because the opposition
Neglected to present a pot to piss in.)
Yes, “mandate from the people” though he’d call it,
The truth was: people’s *silence* let him haul it.
It was, God knows, the path of vote suppression,
That paved the way for Red Don’s right succession.
Yet, if you counted only those he LIKED…
His popularity: it *greatly* spiked!
And so, to shore up his great man condition,
He went to work to silence opposition.
Talk is cheap, they say, and Tweets are cheaper.
Truth was Social: Thus he could defeat Her.
Billionaires pitched in with what they own.
It was their right to rewire all the phones.
The would-be King of Bullshit Springs—That’s him!
His rotten talk could turn a fat cat thin.
The would-be King of Bullshit Springs—Don’t fear!
His eye perfume makes real worlds disappear.
He somehow sensed the cause of every crash,
Before the ball of fire turned to ash.
His “common sense,” it told him what was true
While experts took all night to find a clue.
He Tweeted out the deep dark source of Trouble:
Ignoring any need to sift the rubble.
His wisdom knew no bounds; he just plain Knew…
Maybe not the Facts—but what to Do!
Such righteous flowing Waters he released!
It looked like every wildfire now would cease!
The streaming flood, it glistened in his hand:
Fighting distant fires with unlocked dams!
Never mind the flow he un-impeded
Never reached the place where it was needed.
Or that the waterfalls he made appear
Would guarantee another drought next year.
The would-be King of Bullshit Springs—That’s him!
His rotten talk could turn a fat cat thin.
The would-be King of Bullshit Springs—Don’t fear!
His eye perfume makes real worlds disappear.
He held the sharpest sharpie in the land.
It turned a wish into a state command.
Who needed Congress passing Legislation
When giant signatures could lead the Nation?
Or make some pesky “nations” go away,
Like “Palestine”…Those people would obey,
And drag their bloody tents to Timbuktu
And let their homes be bulldozed like brand new,
and all the flattened schools and mosques of Gaza
be reborn: a seaside tourist plaza–
OR ELSE, they’d have to face his other palm:
The one he used to bless all Bibi’s bombs.
The would-be King of Bullshit Springs—That’s him!
His rotten talk could turn a fat cat thin.
The would-be King of Bullshit Springs—Don’t fear!
His eye perfume makes real worlds disappear.
If only he could Tweet the people jobs!
Then, surely, they would see his word was God’s.
If only words could take the place of work,
Then beaming “aliens,” like Captain Kirk,
Back to where they came from, south of here,
Would not make the McMuffins disappear.
If only fruits and veggies picked themselves:
There’d be no images of empty shelves.
If only robot arms could be prepared:
To offer little children daily care,
And change the wise old elders’ underwear,
And nail the wood to build the new town square,
And serve up spicy food for friends to share.
The work would still get done: Just ask AI.
The chatbots could send biscuits from the sky.
The would-be King of Bullshit Springs—That’s him!
His rotten talk could turn a fat cat thin.
The would-be King of Bullshit Springs—Don’t fear!
His eye perfume makes real worlds disappear.
“Flood the zone with shit”, he was advised…
And so, a swamp of spectacle devised.
So long as he could keep them on their screens,
He’d be the best-dressed emperor they’d seen.
For now, the key was: keep the people thumbing;
For now, the weather helped, but Spring was coming…
The would-be King of Bullshit Springs—That’s him!
His rotten talk could turn a fat cat thin.
The would-be King of Bullshit Springs—Don’t fear!
His eye perfume makes real worlds disappear.